Children and Booze

Rejoice!! History!! Kodomo no hi is here! Cinco De Mayo is here! Always falling 5 days before Mashu no Tanjobi - aka my Birthday. This day is significant in the two cultures I find myself pretending to know what I'm talking about.

Kodomo no Hi (こどもの日; meaning "Children's Day") is a Japanese national holiday which takes place annually on May 5, the fifth day of the fifth month, and is part of the Golden Week. It is a day set aside to respect children's personalities and to celebrate their happiness. It was designated a National holiday by the Japanese government in 1948.

Today is also Cinco De Mayo. The day of the Spaniards.

Cinco De Mayo (Spanish for "5th of May") is a regional holiday in Mexico, primarily celebrated in the state of Puebla. It is not an obligatory federal holiday. The holiday commemorates an initial victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over French forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. The date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.

A common misconception in the United States is that Cinco De Mayo is Mexico's Independence Day; Mexico's Independence Day is actually September 16 (dieciséis de septiembre in Spanish), which is the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico.

Pictures and definitions courtesy of Wikipedia.com

I know how to speak their languages, Japanese and Spanish: as I attended Japanese school as a young Asian boy, and took my Spanish courses in high school too seriously. I received a 790 on the Japanese SAT II. It was all thanks to the powers I obtained on May 5th, 2000. On this date, I was fed a drink of tequila by my father to celebrate. There was some mutated strain of mucus in the drink, which when mixed with my saliva created the worst hang over ever.

Now, this might be a stretch, but I am a Marvel character. I'll start out by saying I'm better than Tony Stark, and I'm better than Bruce Wayne (whom deem themselves as super heroes, but are just normal beings). I'm just not a Clark Kent, or Bruce Banner, whom pride themselves with laser eyes and obscenely strong testicles ("Testi-cless Fuerte" if you follow Cinco De Mayo regionally). Super Man may have the upper hand, but I'm a numbers man. Think of Jim Carrey in 23, except I can receive powerful blows to the head, and I'm not fucking crazy. I was born on the 10th of May, 1985. My brother, November the 22nd. My first place of residence, 21 Balmoral Dr. My second place of residence, 14 Stacey Ln. My third, 7 Bell St Apartment 210. My girlfriend's birthdate: October the 5th. Have your eyes rolled into the back of your head yet? Maybe I have to list them out... hold on.

• 5/10 My Birthdate
• 6/12 202 Days remain in the year
• 7/14 170 Days remain in the year
  
• 8/24 My father's Birthdate
• 9/18 First mailing of anthrax letters from Trenton, NJ in the 2001 anthrax attacks.
• 10/5 My girlfriend's Birthdate
• 11/22 My Brother's Birthdate
• 12/4 My mother's Birthdate
• 21 Balmoral Dr
• 14 Stacey Lane
• 7 Bell St
• Apt 210

Not satisfied yet? After years of training and damage to my rectum I seem to always have a bowel movement around 5:10 pm. I always seem to wake up and look at the time at 5:10 am. I always seem to have work at 9:30 am or 5:30 pm. It's terrifying to see that I am such a numbers man. If I can tune my powers correctly and slant my eyes enough, I can look like Hiro Nakamura. I can even sound exactly like him if I wanted: that says something.

In other news, I leased a brand new '08 Honda Civic last week. I put $1600 down, and worked the guy 'til I got him down to $230/mo including tax. The surf totally sucked today. Dillon and I were able to fit our boards into my car. My 9 ft board fit with room to spare. I smashed some tourist kid in the face with my board though, totally not my fault; totally hilarious. We also attempted to go get our Hawaii State Driver's Licenses before the surf, but failed to do so. Just didn't go. Going on my 19th day straight of working both Geeksquad and Metropark. Some days were just Geeksquad or Metropark, but some were both. My lack of posts can be attributed to this streak; which according to the scheduled dates I have received so far, will go on for another week. I always try and update my Twitter though.