To whom it may concern:Mustaches. We've all heard of them. Many of us have home to fear them. Yet few of us brave them.
This is a call to action. I am organizing a day of mustaches -- Mass Mustache Day. I will be ordering numerous mustaches to hand out to my brave comrades. To those who hear the call -- be brave, wear them all day.
"Why are you doing this," one might ask. The answer is simple, really. Mustaches are awesome. Many heroes of history have had mustaches. A mustache is a way for us to transform ourselves into awesome man-bots (men robots). That's double awesome for you. Manliness AND robots.
To those of you who are willing to fight, thank you and may a mustache be good to you. To those who oppose us, be afraid. A wave of mustaches will roll over you, smothering the life out of you. We are ready to take full control of all non-mustachios. Get ready to become slaves.
If you grow it, they will come.
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