Homeless 2

Pictured: the homeless cats on the U.H. Campus. The state of Hawaii, not just Oahu, suffers from an overpopulation of feral felines. While on campus, I witnessed an elderly couple feeding the homeless cats out of the trunk of their car. I figured they were idiots, helping the overpopulation continue, but the Hawaiian Humane Society offers an incite into this alarming problem.

From the Hawaiian Humane Society website:

The cat population escalates every summer as thousands of litters of feral kittens are born. While the size of Hawaii's feral cat population is unknown, the Hawaiian Humane Society on Oahu received more than 1,000 of them in June. And 17 percent of Oahu households admit to feeding a cat they did not own.

One un-spayed female and her offspring can produce 420,000 kittens in just seven years, so it's easy to imagine how Oahu's population could grow out of control without human intervention.

Trap-Neuter-Return-Manage Programs -- pioneered in Europe and used across the United States -- are a humane and effective way to improve these animals' quality of life and reduce populations. But consistent monitoring and lifelong commitment are required to effectively manage a colony.

The program relies on the ongoing dedication and compassion of caregivers. Community volunteers who use the humane society's free feral sterilization services agree to manage colonies, ensure veterinary care and help place kittens in homes. They also are encouraged to secure the permission of landowners and residents to keep watch over cats on private property, and to keep feeding areas tidy.

Cat caregivers are an often misunderstood group because they're seen as perpetuating the overpopulation of cats. Actually, they are helping to control the feral cat population and offering a good life to cats without a permanent home.

Cat colonies can be found in vacant lots, behind businesses, on school campuses or in parks. Many cats in colonies have never lived in a home and could not be socialized to do so. Cat colony caregivers win the confidence of these unsocialized felines through visits and regular feeding. Eventually, the cats can be lured into a humane trap, and then brought to the Hawaiian Humane Society

Don't abandon your cat: Releasing a pet cat in a feral colony is a violation of the animal desertion law. Domestic cats may be rejected or attacked by the colony.

Microchip Madness: In August only, cat owners can have their cats microchipped for just $5. For a list of participating veterinary clinics call (808) 356-2290.

Ridiculous. I'm in line to adopt two, a male and female, and attempt to produce 60,000 kittens a year. Shit, I thought this might be an alarming rate, but I could just eat cats for the rest of my life. I could even feed all the homeless people at Ala Moana Beach Park. Man, there are Malasada stands all over the island, let there be Cat Baby Salad Stands. That would be the only solution I can think of. Unless you made special Cat Malasadas... On a lighter note, I do actually want to adopt one and be it's sole care-taker, and love it until it grows into a tiger. It is really unfortunate that these little dudes don't have a roof over their heads and no one to brush their teeth:

Brushing is the most effective way of controlling plaque and periodontal disease and is among the most important maintenance you can do for your pet's health. Studies have shown that brushing three times a week reduces plaque by 90 percent and at least once a week by 75 percent.

For cats, health conditions are more notable in the mouth than anywhere else. If a cat is not showing signs of pain, but significant dental disease is present, it is often an indication of a more serious problem.

Regardless of whether or not you are a cat lover, this issue is terrorizing the campus with cute fuzzy things walking around while I smoke a blunt and walk around. It's kind of awesome, seeing thousands of cats, instead of stupid fucking squirrels. Of course, if you are a cat lover, behold lolcats @ icanhascheezburger.com. Some of the pictures are stupid, but then there are those gems.

In conclusion, I wish I could teach these cats how to surf, so I can contribute to this climb of feral felines. They'd drown no doubt. Surf right now looks awesome. Surfline.com says there are 2-3ft swells - first time it's said that in a while. Thunder Cats Ho.